My wedding day was beautiful. It was full of love – the man I love, the people I love, the scenery I love, the food I love. It was a day of love.
It went off without a hitch and if I could do it exactly the same way, with exactly every single silly little detail, I would. In my eyes, it was perfect – but it was absolutely, without a doubt not the best day ever.
In this warped world of blush and gold delicate details someone, somewhere decided that this one expensive party was the end-all-be-all of our happiness. Our peak of joy. Blame it on social media pressure to out do that one chick from high school you never really liked anyway or the chance to live like a celebrity for a few hours – regardless of why it started, it’s real and it’s there.
And only we can buck that burden.
This industry built on unachievable Pinterest boards has actually taken relatively reasonable women and turned them into crazed, caffeinated, little monsters who just HAVE to have that $6,000 flower wall that will undeniably be wilted 24 hours later. Brilliant, successful women who end up in tears because the napkin color is two shades off and the tablecloths aren’t quite the length we imagined (#guilty). We build the day up so much that it becomes unobtainable and in the process we set ourselves up for disappointment. The wedding takes on a life of it’s own and before you know it you’re accidentally missing the bliss of being engaged to the love of your life.
Think about it. You just wake up the next morning and the best day of your life is already behind you? Talk about a happiness hangover.
What about when you land your dream job? Go on that dream vacation? I don’t know, have a child? Buy a home? We really let ourselves slip in to this thought that these moments won’t quite measure up?
My best advise for any blushing bride to be is simple: keep it in perspective.
I love weddings. I really do. I tear up at every single one and feel genuine joy to see two people commit to loving each other forever. I’m not some heartless cynic. I hope every person who ever walks down the aisle has a beautiful day – but it is a moment that goes by in a blur.
It is a moment of your life, a happy, beautiful one, but just a moment — not the defining moment of your happiness.
Is it a special moment worth celebrating? Absolutely. But I would argue the series of moments that led to this celebration deserve a bit more credit than the celebration itself. In this big ol’ world you found your person. Millions and millions of little moments worked together to bring the two of you together at the right time, in the right place. The focus should be on the millions of millions of wonderful new moments you get to create together, because in this same big ol’ world, you now have a partner no matter what sits on the horizon.
And that is the best.