Why my wedding will absolutely not be the best day ever.

My wedding day was beautiful. It was full of love – the man I love, the people I love, the scenery I love, the food I love. It was a day of love.

It went off without a hitch and if I could do it exactly the same way, with exactly every single silly little detail, I would. In my eyes, it was perfect – but it was absolutely, without a doubt not the best day ever.

Thank. God.

In this warped world of blush and gold delicate details someone, somewhere decided that this one expensive party was the end-all-be-all of our happiness. Our peak of joy. Blame it on social media pressure to out do that one chick from high school you never really liked anyway or the chance to live like a celebrity for a few hours – regardless of why it started, it’s real and it’s there.

And only we can buck that burden.

This industry built on unachievable Pinterest boards has actually taken relatively reasonable women and turned them into crazed, caffeinated, little monsters who just HAVE to have that $6,000 flower wall that will undeniably be wilted 24 hours later. Brilliant, successful women who end up in tears because the napkin color is two shades off and the tablecloths aren’t quite the length we imagined (#guilty). We build the day up so much that it becomes unobtainable and in the process we set ourselves up for disappointment. The wedding takes on a life of it’s own and before you know it you’re accidentally missing the bliss of being engaged to the love of your life.

Think about it. You just wake up the next morning and the best day of your life is already behind you? Talk about a happiness hangover.

What about when you land your dream job? Go on that dream vacation? I don’t know, have a child? Buy a home? We really let ourselves slip in to this thought that these moments won’t quite measure up?

My best advise for any blushing bride to be is simple: keep it in perspective.

I love weddings. I really do. I tear up at every single one and feel genuine joy to see two people commit to loving each other forever. I’m not some heartless cynic. I hope every person who ever walks down the aisle has a beautiful day – but it is a moment that goes by in a blur.

It is a moment of your life – not the defining moment of your happiness.

Is it a special moment worth celebrating? Absolutely. But I would argue the series of moments that led to this celebration deserve a bit more credit than the celebration itself. In this big ol’ world you found your person. Millions and millions of little moments worked together to bring the two of you together at the right time, in the right place. The focus should be on the millions of millions of wonderful new moments you get to create together, because in this same big ol’ world, you now have a partner no matter what sits on the horizon.

And that is the best.

 

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38 thoughts on “Why my wedding will absolutely not be the best day ever.

  1. This is so true.. i think we all girls dream of our wedding day, and sometimes we think it is the ultimate happiness!!!! How beautiful to think it is such a special and wonderful day, but it´s not where joy relies, there is so much more happiness after that magical day!!! 💛

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Oh, I just love love LOVE this! I’m not married yet, but I have met the partner that I definitely will walk down the aisle with. And hearing all these stories (and seeing them with my own eyes), you have just put words to my thoughts. It’s not about the one day you have together, it’s about the memories you’ve already made, and about the years and moments to come. Yes, we all want a beautiful wedding, but as long as LOVE is your main focus, it will be the most beautiful one anyway!
    I think we’ll go for a simple garden or beach wedding, when it evetually comes down to it. Just lots of love and intimacy with the very closest of our family members and friends 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You nailed it! We celebrated our 32 anniversary this past June. I have fond memories of my wedding day . . . wearing my mom’s wedding dress, smiling faces, simple bouquets, happy people, a low key reception, friends & family, yummy food, a 3-tier cake mom made, champagne toasts, water pistols, and lots of fun photos.

    It didn’t cost a King’s Ransom and I wouldn’t change a thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. A good observation. A wedding may be as simple as “I do” with just you and your husband but it is the many small memories behind the day which keep your grounded when times are good and times are challenging. Best wishes.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Excellent post. Glad to see that others are seeing that the wedding is not the start of the end and that there are other great things to look forward to past it.

    I am getting married in November and we both decided we didn’t want anything too fancy, we were going to keep costs down and do a registry office and then a party in the evening for our wider friends, but my future wife’s parents wanted the reception and offered to pay. Despite getting most of it paid for we still decided to keep costs low no stupid gimmicks, no cast of thousands – just our family and close friends. I feel lucky that I met a sensible girl who doesn’t want the ‘princess/celebrity experience’!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I got curious with the title and so I read it. And i wasn’t disappointed. I wanna marry someone too and give her the best wedding she could ever imagine but i know that, as long we’re together on that day, filled with love, that will be the best wedding one could ever think of, two hearts become one! God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Well said. It has to be about all the wonderful memories ahead or else… Why is the wedding even worth it? Towards the end of my relationship, I realized I was hiding behind wedding planning, and then I realized that I couldn’t picture all these happy memories down the road. Same realization but with different circumstances. You have to have that. All the best to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is a great post. I love the line “It is a moment of your life – not the defining moment of your happiness.” That is so very true. My husband and I will celebrate 36 years in October and the thing I remember the most about the whole event is that he ate so many mints he felt rather sick LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great article and interesting perspective! I’m about to get married in 3 months. I guess I kind of agree and disagree… Everything my future hubby and I have done over the past 6 years has been wonderful and it all leads up to our big day, which I do feel will be the best day ever up until the wedding day is over. And then we will go through many new things together and even experience many more “best days”. I think it’s possible to have many bests 🙂

    Like

  10. AWESOME post. Though I’ve no plans to marry in the near future, I’ve seen many of my friends get caught up in the insanity that is wedding planning — and you’re right, it should be a moment of joy, not the end-all, be-all of our happiness. In the end, a wedding is just one day — I’d hate to think that after I married, the best moment of my life had already past.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Like

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