I’ll begin with this: I started a blog after a mentor told me it was a necessity – not an option – if I wanted to take my freelance career seriously.
She told me to write consistently, frequently, and without inhibition.
Turns out, that’s hard.
If we’re speaking completely honestly, I enjoy food, a lot, but aside from my ability to make a mean chicken taco I’m not exactly a connoisseur in the kitchen.
I don’t find the idea of domestic goddess-ness appealing in the slightest and although I’ve made a living planning events for big companies, I’m about as qualified to give personal #lifestyle tips as our slobber-clad English Bulldog. I do genuinely love to travel, so much I’ve made a bit of a career out of it, but whenever I promise myself I’m going to take super good notes on a trip I more often than not end up letting myself just enjoy the moment while sipping on sangria and giggling over my atrocious foreign language skills.
I decided I wouldn’t restrict myself. I’d write about life. I’d write about life as a newlywed while building my freelance career. Why should anyone care what I’m doing with each 24 hours? Well, they shouldn’t, necessarily. This started out as a way to just build my freelance career, afterall.
But here we are, about three months in and I have taken on more new clients than I thought I could initially manage. I now spend the bulk of my free time writing for them.
Sharing their stories.
Sculpting their brand.
I’ve pushed myself professionally in a way I did not know I was capable. Seriously. I’ve truly worked my buns off. And at the risk of sounding conceited, I have to say I’m really, really proud of the work I’ve done.
But then this morning a simple call from one of my new clients, who affectionately calls me her publicity guru, has me immersed in a swirling pool of self-WTF.
She loved my latest ghost-written piece for a national coffee brand.
It got picked up by Huffington Post.
They want to extend my contract.
And then she asked me a question I can’t seem to shake.
“What made you decide to write for companies rather than for yourself?”
And now I’m a bit fixated.
I started a blog to work on my freelance career, and in the midst of the new client meetings and skype calls and deadlines, I’ve stopped writing for me because I spent nearly every free hour I have writing for brands.
I’ve neglected my blog.
So why do I ghost write for companies instead of writing for myself? Honestly, I haven’t pinpointed the answer.
Is it simply a “not enough hours in the day” thing? Probably.
Is it rooted in an insecurity? Maybe. It’s daunting to share an unfiltered slab of your heart with an anonymous audience. I’m guilty of second guessing posts knowing that people from my present and past, those who certainly do not have encouraging motives, occasionally peruse this page.
Is it a financially driven decision? Sure. It’s no secret the little offers I get on here don’t compare to what a large corporation will pay me to put their logo on my writing.
I don’t have a complete answer yet – but because I’ve now spent the better part of the day wandering back to it, I think it’s worth exploring.
All this to say, thank you to those who have emailed asking where I’ve been. It really is appreciated. I’m refocusing some things, teaming up with some people I truly adore and respect, and am ready to share with you some new things as this blog takes on a new chapter.